I went with my housemate to the National Gallery today. It was wonderful. To be honest, I loved the building almost more than the art, but the pieces were really amazing. And the fact that all of them are so incredibly old really awed me. My housemate knows a ton, literally shocking amounts, of information about the various periods of art and how they influenced and flowed into each other and what in society was influencing the particular movement, etc. It was like a complete art history course in one afternoon. Fantastic. Turns out I like Baroke or Borroc or however the hell you spell that art period. Also like modern art like Picasso and Degas, as well as older stuff like Rembrant and this other guy who's name escapes me. One of my favourite pieces was by Degas, I forget what it's called which is hilarious. Three Dancers, I think it's called actually. It's really simple but also really beautiful up close.
The afternoon really got me thinking about art because it's something I've never really bought into. To me, what some people call art is really just nothing. Absolutely nothing. And I learned today that it's all due to some guy in 1917 who did an exhibit and put a toilet seat in the exhibit and called it 'art'. Since then people have been doing all kinds of crap and setting up all kinds of ridiculous exhibits and calling it 'art'. Whatever, maybe I'm just not as enlightened as some of the more 'artistic' individuals out there. Or maybe I'm just more of an auditory individual in that I feel music is one of the purest forms of art. Tho clearly there's some total crap out there as well, but I can at least appreciate the total crap if it's catchy or fun to dance to. When visual art is crappy, it's just crappy. Buuuuttttt, in saying all of this, I am attempting to be open minded. My problem is that it seems that if you're Jo Dumbass and you decided to pee in a glass bottle and put a green cork in the bottle and then decide to place that bottle on a podium under some light and call it art, people will believe you. And then along comes Dave Stupidhead and Dave decides he 'totally gets' your art is 'is deeply moved by what your art is saying' and agrees to pay you, Jo Dumbass, a ridiculous sum of money for this piece of 'art' and suddenly Jo Dumbass is some world renowned artist simply because people assume that if one Stupidhead is willing to pay craploads of money to a Dumbass for that Dumbass' art then that Stupidhead must know/see something the rest of us can't and that the Dumbass really is some amazing artist. And no one is going to admit that they don't understand what the hell is so deep, moving or inspiring about urine in a bottle with a green cork on a podium under some light so they go along with it, stroke their chins, walk around the podium and disuss its dimension and use of the colour green (which may or may not symbolize how money is the cork with which we stuff our bottled lives, hoping the urine that is our lives will appear somehow more like liquid gold). I'm opting to just stay out of it and experience art in museums only. I will have art in my home, of course, but I'll stick to more urban and cultural art and stay away from any kinds of 'movements'. And if you ever hear me say I spent more than $500 on a piece of art, slap me. Slap me hard. And if the piece of art does not take up an entire wall for $500, then hit me with your shoe and remind me what that $500 could have bought me at Forever 21.
Now the random craziness of my day. There were two instances. The first was returning home from the gallery, in the Charing Cross underground, there was this woman. At first as we walked up to her from behind, I noticed her swaying a bit. Then as we got closer, I could swear that she was shaking her booty but she was wearing a pretty bulky jacket so I couldn't be sure. As we passed her, I turned to look and she was wearing head phones, her bags were on the ground, her eyes were closed and she was definitely boogeying down. It was alot more visible from the front because her jacket was open. She was proper grinding away by herself to whatever music she was listening to. And then she started say 'ooh', ya', 'oooooooh', 'ya', 'woooh!', 'uh'. And with the way she was dancing I would have to assume she was listening to some old school R&B or soul intended for the bedroom like some Teddy, or Luther or Barry . But I had to give it to her, she was really enjoying that song and grooving down right then and there, regardless of the crowd of people on the platform, even throwing in some slow motion pelvic thrusts as well while making an 'ooohhh, yes' face also more appropriate in the bedroom. And then the train came, we got on, and she did not!!! She just kept on dancing right there. Too funny.
The second random craziness was at the Co-op (grocery store). This woman started yelling at this stockboy that there was no organic milk and how the last six times she'd been there, there was no organic milk. She wanted to know what the hell was going on and if they had even placed an organic milk order, or if they even planned to continue stocking organic milk. She made it clear that she was furious and expected there to be some organic milk in stock on her next visit. Totally hilarious. Especially cause the stock boy completely ignored her after she began her rant. When she first yelled 'excuse me!', he went over, then when she started asking why there was no organic milk, he shrugged, said 'sorry maam, I can not help you' and went back to stocking his shelf and then ignored the rest of her rant. So funny, I was dying inside.
Ah London, how I love your random craziness. We don't get craziness like this at home and I assume it's because there are less people and therefore less crazy people.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Mr. Rickman and Me - Part II
Last Saturday my aunt had a party for her birthday. It was all very impromptu having been planned that Thursday night but it turned out great with about 60 or so people showing up and having a wonderful time. The wine was non-stop, there was sushi (can you imagine how happy I was?!), oysters, prawns, fish pie (think 'Shepard's Pie but with cheese and different kinds of fish. Sounds disgusting but is actually insanely addictive. I could actually go for some fish pie right now...), cake, bread and even more wine. Basically all the ingredients required for a great party. I was actually planning on going out that night but ended up staying in to party cause I knew it would mean alot to my aunt. Turns out to be The Best Decision I Ever Made. Why? Well the party was also attended by Sam Neil and...yes, you guessed it: Alan Rickman! AND Imelda Staunton. Who is that? That is the hated Delores Umbridge from Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix!!!
So first Sam Neill. I went downstairs quite early, pretty much before the party had really started and only two or three guests had arrived so far. I was in the kitchen by myself pouring a glass of wine when the door opened and Sam Neill popped his head around the corner, I did an extreme double take and then just stared while my mind tried to remember what movies I'd seen him in. He looked at me then put down the bottle of wine he was carrying, looked at me again, gave a super awkward half smile and then pretty much ran out of the kitchen. That was when I realized I was staring. Hehehe. And then it hit me: Jurassic Park!!!! One of my favourite childhood movies and also the reason I love Jeff Goldblum. I clearly did not play it very cool but I was caught unprepared so it really doesn't count.
I then circulated the party for a while and then returned to the kitchen to find none other than Mr. Alan Rickman in the kitchen chatting with some less important people. I was thrilled! In these close quarters this was my opportunity to meet and talk to Mr. Rickman. I confessed my plan and obsession to my housemate Konstantinos and he decided he would help me by introducing my to Mr. Rickman. Konstantinos has lived with my aunt and uncle for two years so he's met Mr. Rickman on several occasions and also Mr. Rickman directed a play starrring an actor that Konstantinos used in one of his films so they ended up going for coffee and chatting about directing and such a couple times. Perfect. I had a plan. So we circulated and worked our way closer to Mr. Rickman. And then the moment arrived: Mr. Rickman was chatting with my aunt's close friend and Konstantinos and I were right beside them. Konstantinos interrupted and introduced me to them both. I said hello to Mr. Rickman, SHOOK HIS HAND, then said hello to my aunt's friend and shook her hand and ended up chatting with her because I didn't want to be too obvious that I was dying to meet Mr. Rickman. Pretty anti-climatic, I know. But don't worry. There's more.
So later into the evening I'm outside with Konstantinos and my aunt, trying to recover from the oyster I just tried for the first time (turns out I like to chew my food so oysters aren't for me) and this tiny little woman comes out into the garden and my aunt starts shrieking. The tiny woman looks familiar and then it hits me: Delores Umbridge. Delores Umbridge is standing about 15 inches away from me. I discreetly ask Konstantinos if I am correct and he confirms that I am. My aunt then introduces Imelda to Konstantinos, she shakes his hand, says hello. And then my aunt introduces her to me and she says: 'Oh, you're gorgeous! Just lovely!' and I went into shock. I replied thank you so much and smiled but that was all I could manage. I was very cool tho, don't worry, my shock didn't show on my face and I was only second in a line of people she was introduced to so there was not awkward silence or staring. It was played extremely cool. A while later she returned to the garden and Konstantinos and I were still out there discussing what a nice evening it was and she turned to us and said 'it's really quite warm out tonight, isn't it?' and I said 'yes, we were just saying that, it's really lovely' and she said 'I guess I don't need this coat, but I love it' and I said 'It's a really nice coat' and she said 'thank you, you know I've had it for twelve years' and I said 'wow, really?! What a great buy! It still looks great' and she said 'doesn't it? I just love this coat'. And then someone else asked her a question. But yes. That was my conversation with Delores Umbridge, who is real life, is ridiculously lovely. Tiny and smiley and really sweet.
Even later on in the party, I found myself chatting with a rather lovely lady who I later found out is Mrs. Rickman. We had a very interesting conversation about the differences between Brits and Canada. She asked me some really thought provoking questions. So that conversation ended (Kind of a good thing cause I was a bit buzzed and my thoughts weren't happy being provoked) and I found myself standing beside Konstantinos as he and Mr. Rickman continued the conversation they'd been carrying on for at least the past thirty minutes. I was determined to speak to Mr. Rickman, to somehow inject myself into their conversation and remain in it. So I hovered there a moment semi-awkwardly but very determined and then, an opportunity arose! They were discussing Avatar!! Excellent, I haven't seen it but I've read a lot about it and thought now or never, I better jump in! So I turned to face them and Mr. Rickman said 'hellooo' in a very awesome snape-like way. And I said 'I heard you guys discussing Avatar and I wanted to know what you both thought of it', turns out neither of them had seen it but both wanted to. I joked that I thought I was the last person in the world not to have seen it and they were making me feel much better. And then Mr. Rickman mentioned that it's nominated for best film. Mr. Rickman is part of the Academy and had just done his voting the past week. (ACK!) He started telling us how there will be 10 films in the best film category this year. And then Konstatinos explained that it's a money thing cause each film nominated gets an additional two months in theatres cause so many more people want to see it after the oscars. Both Mr. Rickman and I were like 'ya, that does make sense' and then Mr. Rickman told a joke and I laughed and I made a joke and he laughed. And then. And then. *sigh* And then I spent the next 17 or so minutes discussing films and the Oscars with Mr. Rickman and Constantinos. Mr. Rickman named the films he'd seen and described what he liked about them. I had seen none of them but heard of all of them (thank God for my obsession with watching trailers on Apple.com) and so could contribute to the conversation. There were a few films he told me I should see and I will definitely see them, if they come recommended by Mr. Rickman, they must be good, right?! The entire time this conversation was happening I had to keep reminding myself not to do a happy dance and to breath and to PAY ATTENTION!! And not to just smile and stare whenever he was speaking directly to me. God forbid Mr. Rickman should think I'm an idiot. It was wonderful. Amazing. We chatted, we laughed, we joked, I was witty, intelligent and very cool and he, well, he was Mr. Rickman.
And that, folks, is Part II of Mr. Rickman and me. Much much better than Part I and hopefully not as good as Part III. I'm still in shock and would almost have thought I dreamed it if Konstantinos hadn't been there. By the way, he confirmed that I did, infact, play it very very cool.
I would like to thank my aunt for being born and having a party last Saturday to celebrate. I would also like to thank Mr. Rickman for being born and being available to attend the party on incredibly short notice. And I would like to thank Konstantinos for talking to Mr. Rickman and giving me my in. If I do absolutely nothing else this entire trip, it will still be the best trip ever.
Sam Neill
Mr. Rickman
Imelda Staunton
So first Sam Neill. I went downstairs quite early, pretty much before the party had really started and only two or three guests had arrived so far. I was in the kitchen by myself pouring a glass of wine when the door opened and Sam Neill popped his head around the corner, I did an extreme double take and then just stared while my mind tried to remember what movies I'd seen him in. He looked at me then put down the bottle of wine he was carrying, looked at me again, gave a super awkward half smile and then pretty much ran out of the kitchen. That was when I realized I was staring. Hehehe. And then it hit me: Jurassic Park!!!! One of my favourite childhood movies and also the reason I love Jeff Goldblum. I clearly did not play it very cool but I was caught unprepared so it really doesn't count.
I then circulated the party for a while and then returned to the kitchen to find none other than Mr. Alan Rickman in the kitchen chatting with some less important people. I was thrilled! In these close quarters this was my opportunity to meet and talk to Mr. Rickman. I confessed my plan and obsession to my housemate Konstantinos and he decided he would help me by introducing my to Mr. Rickman. Konstantinos has lived with my aunt and uncle for two years so he's met Mr. Rickman on several occasions and also Mr. Rickman directed a play starrring an actor that Konstantinos used in one of his films so they ended up going for coffee and chatting about directing and such a couple times. Perfect. I had a plan. So we circulated and worked our way closer to Mr. Rickman. And then the moment arrived: Mr. Rickman was chatting with my aunt's close friend and Konstantinos and I were right beside them. Konstantinos interrupted and introduced me to them both. I said hello to Mr. Rickman, SHOOK HIS HAND, then said hello to my aunt's friend and shook her hand and ended up chatting with her because I didn't want to be too obvious that I was dying to meet Mr. Rickman. Pretty anti-climatic, I know. But don't worry. There's more.
So later into the evening I'm outside with Konstantinos and my aunt, trying to recover from the oyster I just tried for the first time (turns out I like to chew my food so oysters aren't for me) and this tiny little woman comes out into the garden and my aunt starts shrieking. The tiny woman looks familiar and then it hits me: Delores Umbridge. Delores Umbridge is standing about 15 inches away from me. I discreetly ask Konstantinos if I am correct and he confirms that I am. My aunt then introduces Imelda to Konstantinos, she shakes his hand, says hello. And then my aunt introduces her to me and she says: 'Oh, you're gorgeous! Just lovely!' and I went into shock. I replied thank you so much and smiled but that was all I could manage. I was very cool tho, don't worry, my shock didn't show on my face and I was only second in a line of people she was introduced to so there was not awkward silence or staring. It was played extremely cool. A while later she returned to the garden and Konstantinos and I were still out there discussing what a nice evening it was and she turned to us and said 'it's really quite warm out tonight, isn't it?' and I said 'yes, we were just saying that, it's really lovely' and she said 'I guess I don't need this coat, but I love it' and I said 'It's a really nice coat' and she said 'thank you, you know I've had it for twelve years' and I said 'wow, really?! What a great buy! It still looks great' and she said 'doesn't it? I just love this coat'. And then someone else asked her a question. But yes. That was my conversation with Delores Umbridge, who is real life, is ridiculously lovely. Tiny and smiley and really sweet.
Even later on in the party, I found myself chatting with a rather lovely lady who I later found out is Mrs. Rickman. We had a very interesting conversation about the differences between Brits and Canada. She asked me some really thought provoking questions. So that conversation ended (Kind of a good thing cause I was a bit buzzed and my thoughts weren't happy being provoked) and I found myself standing beside Konstantinos as he and Mr. Rickman continued the conversation they'd been carrying on for at least the past thirty minutes. I was determined to speak to Mr. Rickman, to somehow inject myself into their conversation and remain in it. So I hovered there a moment semi-awkwardly but very determined and then, an opportunity arose! They were discussing Avatar!! Excellent, I haven't seen it but I've read a lot about it and thought now or never, I better jump in! So I turned to face them and Mr. Rickman said 'hellooo' in a very awesome snape-like way. And I said 'I heard you guys discussing Avatar and I wanted to know what you both thought of it', turns out neither of them had seen it but both wanted to. I joked that I thought I was the last person in the world not to have seen it and they were making me feel much better. And then Mr. Rickman mentioned that it's nominated for best film. Mr. Rickman is part of the Academy and had just done his voting the past week. (ACK!) He started telling us how there will be 10 films in the best film category this year. And then Konstatinos explained that it's a money thing cause each film nominated gets an additional two months in theatres cause so many more people want to see it after the oscars. Both Mr. Rickman and I were like 'ya, that does make sense' and then Mr. Rickman told a joke and I laughed and I made a joke and he laughed. And then. And then. *sigh* And then I spent the next 17 or so minutes discussing films and the Oscars with Mr. Rickman and Constantinos. Mr. Rickman named the films he'd seen and described what he liked about them. I had seen none of them but heard of all of them (thank God for my obsession with watching trailers on Apple.com) and so could contribute to the conversation. There were a few films he told me I should see and I will definitely see them, if they come recommended by Mr. Rickman, they must be good, right?! The entire time this conversation was happening I had to keep reminding myself not to do a happy dance and to breath and to PAY ATTENTION!! And not to just smile and stare whenever he was speaking directly to me. God forbid Mr. Rickman should think I'm an idiot. It was wonderful. Amazing. We chatted, we laughed, we joked, I was witty, intelligent and very cool and he, well, he was Mr. Rickman.
And that, folks, is Part II of Mr. Rickman and me. Much much better than Part I and hopefully not as good as Part III. I'm still in shock and would almost have thought I dreamed it if Konstantinos hadn't been there. By the way, he confirmed that I did, infact, play it very very cool.
I would like to thank my aunt for being born and having a party last Saturday to celebrate. I would also like to thank Mr. Rickman for being born and being available to attend the party on incredibly short notice. And I would like to thank Konstantinos for talking to Mr. Rickman and giving me my in. If I do absolutely nothing else this entire trip, it will still be the best trip ever.
Sam Neill
Mr. Rickman
Imelda Staunton
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